Whatever you want to call it, that's how I've been feeling lately. It's been hard for me to focus on anything, let alone quilting. Yet I think it is because I haven't been quilting that I feel this way.
My best friend leads meditation and teaches yoga, among other things. She is a very grounded person. Quite often we've discussed the comparisons between a yoga practice and quilting. I get the same benefit as a committed practice from sewing. It is a meditative process, this sewing stuff. I calm down and gain focus. At the end of the day, quilting grounds me.
I found this definition from a random article. Regardless of the source, the sentiments describe the exact feelings I have. It wasn't until I was talking to my friend that I realized that grounding was what I didn't have.
"To me, being grounded means being fully present: physically, emotionally and energetically. It means your mind is not wandering or pulling your energy elsewhere. Your heart and soul are not searching somewhere in the past or looking into the future."
- Catherine Warner
The spring was quite momentous. I turned 40! You Inspire Me To Quilt came out! My childhood home was sold. So much going on. A lot to celebrate and enjoy. I spent so much time with friends and family, never have I felt more loved and happy.
Other than some hand sewing, however, not much has happened in the studio. Not only are the girls are on summer break, we helped my Mom move and went on a 2 week road trip. My soul is calling for a few days tucked away into my sewing room with no interruptions.
Too bad for my soul, it isn't going to get that. Instead I need to piece together little bits of time and put it in the schedule. The reality of 3 kids and summer break means there isn't a lot of time. Especially since my guy isn't in the mood to nap much anymore. So a little bit of PBS kids here, skipping the Daily Show... oh wait, and an early morning there to feed my soul and bring me back to grounded.
Quilting keeps me focused on the present, on what is right in front of you. In fact, if you don't pay attention you can seriously hurt yourself! And now that quilting is my business my mind is constantly on other things and I am forever planning, plotting, and perceiving things incorrectly. It has taken me away from the immediate process and the benefit of that. At the same time, my desire to quilt is taking me away from my family and the focus they deserve. Not to mention the state of my house.
Long story short, I need to get my s*%$ together. Clean and create a space both physically and mentally for all the things I need to focus on. Keep purging in the house to make the space clear of the extra, distracting things. Carve out a dedicated time for sewing and stick to it. Internalize my influences and inspirations for the time being. And hang on to my family now, laugh with them and make life epic all the time. Even if epic means nothing but playing with the sprinkler.
In the meantime, here are a few snippets of our recent road trip. Calgary to Vegas to Arizona (oh, Arizona!) and back. With stops in Montana, Idaho, Utah, and Wyoming for good measure.